ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We don't watch enough power rangers
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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