i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
They took my balls.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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