sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize