One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
