Will you blow on my dice?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
