So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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