Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she woke up with a sticky ear
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm both gender and math confused
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
