he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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