whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
