i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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