I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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