I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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