You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
