This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
