The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize