Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
