Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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