PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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