Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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