she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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