Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i think my cat just said my name.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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