one might say we're banned from that church
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
