community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My cat gives me a boner
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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