Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize