Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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