Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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