i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
