You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
