i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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