If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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