this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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