some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
