Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
