toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
