I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
