dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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