I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
