hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
