I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
