addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
