I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We need to rekindle our bromance
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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