plz talk dirty to me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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