I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
