stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
