Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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