just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
