We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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