this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
