is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize