Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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