My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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