So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
