Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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