just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
