Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize