bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
