Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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