so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
