Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
