if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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